Beer {Contest Entry}

Beer


The beach was packed with people. Nearly every inch of soft, dry sand was occupied by a beach towel, sandcastle or deckchair. There were hundreds of faces and bodies; all of which were different shapes, sizes and colours. It was a glorious display of diversity and joy, accompanied by the piercing high-pitched giggles of children and parents shouting at said children. There was an abundance of beach balls and women in bikinis, which were the first thing Gilbert noticed as he stepped out of the car.

“Kesesese!” Gilbert pushed his hips forward to try and enhance the magnitude of the bulge in his swim shorts. “It’s time to get drunk, pull some chicks and party with the awesome Gilbert!”

Gilbert tried to place a hand on Mathias’ car. As soon as his palm touched the piping-hot metal, he recoiled and let out a squeak of pain. “Ack! What the hell, Mat?! Your un-awesome car nearly gave me third degree burns!”

Mathias ducked his head as he climbed out of his car and opened up the back door where the kegs of beer rested. “Geeze, what did you expect? I’ve been driving in the sun all morning, of course my metal car is going to be hot.”

“Tch.” Gilbert made sure to give a stern, dirty look to the car before he turned to help Mathias move the beer onto the pavement. “Couldn’t we find the others before we shift all these out? Instead of lugging them all across the beach until we find our group like losers?” Gilbert groaned.

Mathias cocked an eyebrow and stopped for a brief second to look around at the car park. “We’re lucky to get a space at all. I was not going to risk losing what might be the only available parking space today, just because you’re too lazy to help me carry some drinks.” Mathias placed his usual toothy grin back onto his lips and closed his eyes as his imagination began to grind. “Besides, think about how awesomely strong we’ll look to all the girls who see us carrying these kegs!”

Gilbert cradled two kegs as a pair of women strutted past. They looked the silver-haired Prussian up and down before they looked at each other and giggled. One of them glanced behind her after they walked past him, and winked.

“Kesesesesese! Well I guess I could carry another one!”

Mathias kicked the door shut and laughed. “No-way. Four kegs for now is more than enough.”

“Kese- wait are you serious? Me and West are probably going to hog a keg to ourselves. You’ll end up with one to yourself too.”

“Don’t worry! It was a ‘bring your own booze’ barbeque. If people are stupid enough to not have brought their own drinks, then they’re just going to have to miss out! If they have forgotten, I’m pretty sure there’ll be a bar nearby! Or they can go to a shop!”

“Awesome!” Gilbert agreed as they marched on to look for their crew.

*

The group were all set up next to a stone wall. There were plenty of windbreakers up (not that there was any wind to break) and half tents to create some appreciated shade. Steph was sat on a small, white plastic chair near the barbeque. She had a summer fruits Kopparberg in one hand and a burger in the other. She stared out at the distant sea while she listened to the disagreement that Arthur and Francis had.

“Unhand me you damned Frog!”

“Non! Not until you promise not to go anywhere near zhe barbeque!”

While they argued, Ludwig had taken over the duty of cook. He flipped the burgers, turned the sausages and made sure the kebabs were even on all sides. Alfred hovered over the food; bread baps in hand ready for the meat. Feliciano had built a sandcastle, but began to flail with sadness when Lovino accidentally stepped on it.

“Stupido! W-Why did you build it there anyway?! It’s right in the way! Don’t-a you think you’re too old for stupid bastardo sandcastles anyway?!” Lovino clearly felt bad for the accident, but his temper and attitude would never let him admit that he was sorry.

“Now now Lovi, you should say sorry to your little brother.” Antonio instructed. Unfortunately, Antonio received a string of swearwords and abuse as opposed to the apology to Feliciano that he hoped for.

Steph laughed a little. She finished her burger and washed it down with a swig of the Swedish cider. In the distance she noticed that Mathias and Gilbert had begun to approach the group, so she waved at them.

Arthur pulled a seat over to Steph’s side and she jumped at the snap of his can when he opened it. “Steph, what on Earth are you drinking?” He asked as he took a sip of his larger.

“It’s a cider Berwald introduced me to. It’s really sweet and fruity, it doesn’t even taste like alcohol and it’s not as stale as Bulmers ori- I mean other ciders.” Steph felt a bead of sweat run down the side of her face.”

Arthur frowned heavily. “You don’t enjoy Bulmers original?”

Steph could see that he was deeply wounded by her comment. She used to drink Bulmers all the time at summer barbeques before she found out about Kopparberg. “It’s not that I don’t like it… it’s just… this cider is better.” She held up the bottle and took another drink of it.

“Well you shouldn’t be drinking cider anyway.” Arthur took the now empty bottle out of her hand and stuck a can of Carling in its place. He was clearly annoyed that the Englishwoman had switched to a Swedish brand rather than stuck to her home brands.

“Nope! Nope, nope, nope, nope. You know I don’t do beer.”

“Well just think of it as larger then.”

“They’re the same thing!”

“Quite, but it might help if you think of it as a different drink to beer.” Arthur stated.

“Look, it’s not just the fact that it tastes like it’s been vacuumed out of a male public toilet, it’s the fact that I become a really weird sort of drunk when I drink it.” Steph explained as she stared at the can of beer.

Suddenly, four fat kegs were plonked onto the sand in front of her. Gilbert wiped the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his arm while Mathias put his hands on his lower back and cracked it. Gilbert put his flip-flop on top of one of the kegs as he took on a triumphant pose.

“The awesome ones have finally arrived. Now the party may begin!” Gilbert informed the group, although the beach party was already in full swing as Feliks danced outlandishly and Toris shuffled on his feet back and forth. Others danced as well, but they were the only two Steph could see clearly.

Gilbert looked down at Arthur and Steph. “Huh? Are you drinking beer, Steph? You get really weird when you drink beer.”

“I know! Tell that to Arthur!”

Gilbert turned to Arthur and was about to repeat what he just said before Arthur interrupted. “She didn’t mean literally you moron!”

“Kesesese! Well, don’t drink too much of it. Anyway, suck it losers.” Gilbert waved and sundered off in the direction of Elizabeta.

Mathias sat down on one of the kegs. “If you’re drinking beer today, Steph, you should try this stuff me and Berwald knocked up.”

“Berwald made it?” Steph’s ears perked up at the mention of the Swedish man. She could not deny that she had quite the huge crush on the man and wanted to impress him. She glared at the kegs of moonshine beer before she briefly glanced at Berwald who ate ice-cream with Tino. “Well, I suppose if you and Berwald specially made it for this barbeque it would be rude of me to refuse.”

“We didn’t make it especially for this bar-“

“It’s alright Mathias!” Steph closed her eyes and held her hand out dramatically. “Weep not, for I shall taste your beer.”

Mathias grinned and hopped up. “Alright then! I’ve gotta warn you though, Steph; it has quite a kick to it.” He grabbed a plastic pint glass and began to pour her a drink.

Arthur shook his head from side to side. “So you’ll try their moonshine beer, but not a trusted brand like Carling which we know won’t make you blind?”

Steph had a look of disappointment and guilt on her face. “I don’t want to drink it, but I don’t want to offend Berwald.” She whispered. Mathias handed her the cup and she held it into the air towards her crush. “Thanks Berwald!” She shouted and he gave her a nod of acknowledgement. “Ah! He acknowledged me!”

Arthur continued to shake his head but smiled softly as Steph began to chug down the beer.

*

As the sky began to turn black and the beach had practically emptied, Steph tried to pick herself up off of the floor. Mathias went to help her and she gripped on to his arm and looked up at him with wide eyes. “Shush! The moon will hear us!”

Despite the fact that Mathias had gone back to his car to get the rest of the kegs, he was only slightly intoxicated. Luckily, he still had plenty of beer left to take him through the night. However, the night had ended for Steph and he wanted to make sure she got back to her hotel all right. “Hey guys! I’m just going to take Steph back to the hotel. The party better not die while I’m gone.” The party showed no signs of dying.

Steph thrashed about and pushed herself away from Mathias. “Nu-uh! I need to tell Berwald, that I likeles him.” She hiccupped and began to wobble over to the Swede but Mathias pulled her back.

“Uh, I don’t think you should tell him that you ‘likeles’ him while you’re ‘likeles’ this.”

“Shush! The moon will hear us!” She said once again. “OK, let me just say night night to him, then’ll be right back to go home.”

Mathias released her arm. “Well OK. I’ll be right here, say your goodbyes and come back to me.”

“’K.” Once again she began to weave about to try and get to Berwald. ’Hehe, stupid Dane. I’ll use this opportunity to tell Berwald how I feel! Then Berwald and I can go off and make little babies. ‘Cause I can totes turn a gay man straight.’ She thought to herself as she collapsed into the arms of a blonde man. She gripped hold of the blue shirt and closed her eyes as she snuggled up to his chest. “I really really like you, and I think we should bang..”

*

The next morning, Steph woke up with a huge headache and an unhappy stomach. “O-ow…” She whimpered as she sat herself up and reached for the half-drunk glass of water on the bedside table. As she drank, she noticed the bedcovers rustle as the lump beside her began to move. She spat her drink back into the cup and grabbed the duvet to cover up her naked form.

’Oh God, oh God… what did I do last night? Who did I do last night? W-wait… I confessed to Berwald didn’t I? Oh my God, oh my God! D-did it really happen?!’

With a huge blush across her face and an excited smile from ear to ear, she began to tug the duvet off of the blonde man. He stretched his arms into the air and turned around to face Steph as she whispered;

“Good morning, - Francis?!”

“Good morning, mon cher. I’m surprised you have any energy at all after last night, oh hon.” He received a pillow to the face.

“No, no, no! I didn’t… You didn’t… We didn’t… did we?!” He moved the pillow to the side and with a content smile he nodded his head.

“Oui, we did.”

“When?! How?! The last thing I remember is falling into Berwald’s arms and confessing how I felt about him!”

“Non, you fell into my arms last night and said; ‘I really, really like you and think we should bang.’ So we did.”

Steph felt a mixture of shame, regret and embarrassment. She didn’t like drunken sex, but sometimes she could not stop it. “Damn it, it’s because you were both blonde and wearing blue shirts.” Steph rubbed her face and smacked her cheeks to try and wake herself up and recall the previous night.

“Non, I don’t believe that excuse. You were clearly after me.”

“Pfft, you know I would never sleep with you in a million years sober! Whatever makes you think I wanted you last night?” She scoffed at him.

He leaned forward and his face was inches away from hers. “It was the way you screamed my name in ecstasy and repeatedly told me how much you had always wanted me.”

Steph’s face was flushed and turned a deep red. She was always a weird drunk when she drank beer; because it made her tell the truth.

_{Yes, the moon can hear you if you don’t whisper.}