Camp Hetalia: The Tour

Norway: "If you are reading this, that means you are going to Camp Hetalia. ...Lucky you... It also means your tour guide is UraharaSteph. Please, call her Urahara or Miss Stephanie. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable but still shows her some sort of respect. not that she deserves respect"

Hello, lucky campers. My name is UraharaSteph. What? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF ME?! Everyone has heard of me. I am the one who wrote those amazing things; _{Seven minutes in} Hetalia Heaven, _{Sweden X Reader} Silent poetry and _{England X Reader (lemon)} Tranquillity. If you haven't even read those, get to my gallery or else I won't even let you step a toe into this camp!

I'm totally not advertising or anything like that.

I'm the Grandpa Rome of Hetalia Fanfiction at this camp you'll be staying at, meaning I love sex, food, sleeping, fighting and writing. It's no reference to me being 19 and practically old, no-way! However, you have not come here to listen to me chatter on, let us begin the tour.

Here, we have the cafeteria. All meals will be served in this building by that horrid Fro-... Eh... French man; Francis Bonnefoy. Don't get too close to him though, he may try to make you 'French territory' and we all know what that means. However, I have to hand it to blondie locks, he has some mad skills when it comes to the kitchen. It's a shame he isn't as beautiful and delicious as his cooking. Moving on...

We're about to pass the main office. I apologise, but I must ask you to keep quiet when around this area. Germany, or as you'll be calling him here; Ludwig, along with Hidekaz will be organising all the campy things. If you start screaming and fangirking outside of this office, you will probably be told to go to your cabin. That sucks right!? Well don't do it if you know what's good for you!

While we're on that matter, Britain is sort of our security guard. Just because he doesn't have a gun doesn't mean that he won't pound you into the ground with his truncheon! Oh, and no, that is not a euphemism. There will be no pounding into the ground by an English penis to service as punishment.

Now we should get going to the Nurse's office. The infirmary is where you will go to that sexy Greek, Heracles, if you are feeling under the weather. He'll give you some er... special Greek medicine that will have you right back on your feet! and probably walking a little funny.

Before we explore the cabins, we must pay a quick visit to the activity grounds.  It is on these grounds that the rest of the male characters run activities such as the shooting range, doujinshi making and reading, fast food making, lover classes, art, tomato growing, and much much more. However, if any of you think now would be a great time to brush up on learning how the Swedish build, then you better thing again haha... hahahahahahahaha no I'm serious. *Death glare* Nah, I'm only joking! Every fangirl will get to do what she wants.

For those of you who think that you are getting it on with some sexy manly men, I regret to inform you that the cabins will be under the rule of the Hetalia girls rather than the males. Hungary, Ukraine, Liechtenstein, Seychelles, Belgium, Taiwan, Vietnam, Monaco, or Wy are the girls who you could be under, while Belarus is the leader of a cabin double the size of these. She runs it alongside America, and it houses delinquent girls and normal boys.

So, there are 10 cabins in all. Each one has it's own symbol. Hungary is the Pasta Cabin Leader, Ukraine the Vodka Cabin Leader, Liechtenstein the Wurst Cabin Leader (haha... penis), Seychelles is the Teacup Leader, Belgium the Tomato, Taiwan the Panda, Vietnam the Salted Salmon, Monaco the Rose, and Wy the Maple Syrup which leaves Belarus with the Hamburger.

The middle of the circle of cabins will be host to the camp fire. Arthur, my landlord and our Brit security guard may feel like doing his delightful marshmallow song from time to time! So definitely don't miss out on that. Oh and don't ask why one of the cabins has been painted 'vicked hipster pink'. *Sighs*

The 'famous' Hetalians will be staying on the top floor of the Hamburger cabin and we have quite a lot of freedom. We can even rotate when we like, which you'll understand later on. By the way, if any of you are disrespectful towards Sweden, England, Romano- no, in fact, if any of you are disrespectful to ANYONE on this camp, staff or otherwise, you will have to answer to my wrath. I will track you down and I will tickle you. That is a warning.

NOW GO AND HAVE FUN YOU LITTLE RASCALS~!